8 Normal Things to Expect During Anal Sex

Anal sex is making a comeback in a big way, with more and more couples engaging in it on a fairly regular basis. With the advent of various products, lubricants and anal sex aids, anal sex is transitioning from taboo to whoo hoo!

Personally, I am pleased to see this shift in trend. As someone who enjoys anal sex on the regular, and has for most of my sexual life, I am pleased to see more people giving anal a shot! However, there are some things people don't always tell you about before you try anal for the first time. So, from someone well versed in anal, here are 8 normal things to expect when you have anal sex.

1. Fear

It is completely normal to experience some level of fear before you engage in anal. For the receiver you may be afraid that you are going to experience pain during anal and for the giver you may be afraid to hurt your partner.

Wondering about the unknown is normal. In fact, fear of an activity that so many people have touted as “painful” is healthy. The fear has a wonderful purpose though, it ensures that you will take the proper precautions to make sure that it is enjoyable for both of you.

2. Hesitation

Once you have decided to give anal sex a try, you have to actually BEGIN the activity. This is not like inserting it into a vagina; there will be natural resistance to pushing it in. This resistance comes both from the tightness of the anal muscles AND any hesitation/fear coming from the receiver. 

The person receiving will unintentionally tighten the anal muscles which will make insertion more difficult. The giver may start to push in, but then hesitate when they feel the resistance. Having hesitation is normal and a good thing because it ensures that both partners will be ready to proceed.

3. Resistance to Insertion

Even with great amounts of lubricant, it is natural to experience resistance to insertion. The anal canal has not one but two sphincters (bands of muscles that help to hold in and push out waste) and so to get past both of these with the penis, finger, or toy requires firm pushing against the resistance until the muscles relax and accept the object. If you feel resistance when pushing in (or if you sense it as the receiver) this is completely normal. Just pay attention to the bodily cues and never push too hard until the receiver is ready.

4. It Goes From Uncomfortable to Really Pleasurable

Keep in mind I am saying uncomfortable, not painful, as anal sex should never hurt! (If it does hurt, stop.) It will be mildly uncomfortable until the penis or toy has made its way up into the anal canal. Once that happens there will be a few minutes of adjustment and then it should start feeling very pleasing in a completely different way than standard intercourse does. If the receiving partner has a clitoris, use a bullet vibrator to increase the pleasurable sensations. If they have a penis, start giving them a handjob to really get them going!

5. Sh*t Happens

Okay, if you are going to have anal sex then it is most likely you will experience some amount of waste (poop) on the penis or toy during and after anal sex. Not only that, but this waste can leak out onto the external anal opening, and get on the sheets (or couch, floor, etc.) after anal sex has concluded. It is what it is.

Even if you prep yourself with an enema and make sure you are as clean as possible, residual waste can still make an appearance after anal sex. Especially when you consider the lubrication that will be used. Some couples find using a condom to be preferable to experiencing the mess.

6. Post Sex Leakage Also Happens

It stands to reason if you are introducing lubrication into the anal canal and pushing it up, deeply, into the canal, that what goes up, must come out. Also, keep in mind if the giver ejaculates inside the anus that this, also, must come out. So, for the receiver it is common and normal to experience some leakage of the lubrication, ejaculate and, occasionally, waste from the anal opening post sex.

Usually, going to the bathroom and simply pushing a bit to get out all of these substances, and then washing up, will do the trick. It should also be said that air that has made its way up the anal canal may also need to work its way out, so flatulence (farting) may often occur as well. Embarrassing maybe, but well worth it for the pleasure of anal.

7. Feeling of "Loose" Muscles

After anal sex, for maybe a few minutes to a half hour, you may feel like your anal muscles are a bit “loose.” This is normal and usually will correct itself quickly. Once the foreign object has been removed from the anal canal, the muscles begin to re-tighten and contract. Before this can occur, however, the receiver may feel a bit less tight than normal. Especially when going to the bathroom immediately after. You may feel like you can’t push effectively. This feeling is normal and will pass quickly.

8. Soreness, Not Pain

Oftentimes the receiver will experience some soreness in the anal area for a little bit. This should not be PAIN in any way, it is more of a tender feeling that quickly dissipates. There may also be, but not always, some very light bleeding. The bleeding should in no way be severe and usually is the result of just needing a bit more lubricant during anal sex. Or, occasionally, if the receiver has hemorrhoids (internal) the anal sex can temporarily inflame them. The standard though is to have some soreness but no bleeding. If you feel soreness for more than a few hours you may want to consider using more lubricant the next time.

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