10+ Tips to Have the Best Sex Ever

When it comes to bedroom activities, you’ll be hard-pressed to find someone who doesn’t want a little boost in their sex life, especially if you’ve been together for a while. Sure, you could do a Google search for “best sex positions,” but that will only get you so far. While you might be excited to try one (or more) of those positions, your partner might not be all that into it. Or, maybe they’ll want to do something you’re not feeling. 

Having the best sex ever isn’t just about the positions. While they can play a role, amazing sex involves so much more. Whether you’re early in your relationship or you’ve been together for years, here are a few ways that you and your partner can have the best sex ever. 

1. Masturbate More to Get to Know Yourself

Great sex requires knowledge of what you like. To learn what you enjoy (and what you might not), a little self-love is in order. Masturbation is a healthy way to explore your body and begin to understand your pleasure potential. And, it’s not just for single people. Those in relationships should give it a go, too. 

Once you learn what gets you off, don’t be afraid to let your partner know. Or, you might consider a little mutual masturbation. It provides a visual demonstration of what you like (and let’s be honest, some of us are better visual learners!), and it’s one of the most intimate experiences partners can share[i]. 

2.  Watch Porn Together

At first blush, the idea of watching porn with your partner might seem like a recipe for disaster. In reality, it can be a great way to learn more about one another. It’s not about comparisons or copying what you see on the screen. The videos can give you an excellent jumping-off point for conversations about what you like (or might like to try), though, and those conversations can help you to feel more open and comfortable with one another[ii]. 

3. Make an “Appointment” with One Another

Scheduling time for sex might seem like a real mood killer, but hear us out. You schedule times to work out, run errands, or meet up with friends. These are priorities. Sex should be a priority, too. You might not always have the time to be spontaneous, and if you don’t prioritize sex, you risk it falling to the wayside. As a bonus, making such an appointment can help to build some exciting anticipation.  

4. Focus on Quality Rather Than Quantity 

When it comes to sex, more doesn’t always mean better. Some studies suggest that the happiest couples only have sex about once a week[iii]. Don’t focus on how often you’re hopping into the sack. When you shift your focus to the pleasure of you and your partner instead, you’re much more likely to have an incredible time.  

5. Communicate with Each Other

We’ve touched on this subject a couple of times already, but communication really is critical. Your partner isn’t a mind reader, and neither are you. While you may have learned some things about one another during your previous sessions, you need to communicate. If you like something or want to try something, let your partner know. The same goes for if you don’t like something. Encourage your partner to do the same. The more open you are with one another, the better equipped you are to meet each other’s needs and desires. 

6. Experiment with Toys or Props

Sex toys and props often get a bad rap. The truth is, however, that they exist to enhance intimacy, not act as a replacement. They enable you to fulfill fantasies and open doors to new possibilities. 

Whether you’re looking to incorporate vibrators, bondage toys, sexy lingerie, or something else, consider shopping together. The experience alone can be exhilarating. If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of visiting a shop in person, visit an online shop like Too Timid. With a broad range of toys and props (and discreet shipping!), you’re sure to find something that gets the both of you going. 

7. Build Up to the Main Event

Sure, spontaneity is fun, but you might be surprised to find out just how titillating build-up can be. Perhaps hint at your desires before you leave for work in the morning. Text a suggestive snapshot or send a raunchy email during the day. The anticipation will build throughout the day.

When you finally do meet in the bedroom, don’t just jump to the main event. Continue building the suspense. Incorporate a sensual massage or a little foreplay first. All of that build-up can lead to incredible sex and mind-blowing orgasms for both parties involved. 

8. Talk Dirty

You might be surprised at how much being a bit more vocal in the bedroom can help to liven things up. If your partner is doing something you really enjoy, don’t be afraid to let them know. It certainly provides an affirming boost to your partner that they’re doing a great job. At the same time, a little dirty talk can help you describe what you need in bed. That kind of communication can only help to make for better sex[iv]. 

What if you’re shy or tend to be more on the quiet side? That’s okay! Dirty talk can feel awkward at first, but practice makes perfect. Start by describing how good something feels or what you want to do to your partner (or what you want them to do to you). As you become more comfortable, it’ll become more natural.  

9. Try Something New

Sex doesn’t have to be the same every single time, nor should it be. Don’t be afraid to mix it up and try new things. Take it out of the bedroom and into the living room or kitchen. What about in the backyard (if you have neighbors, consider setting up a tent first!)? Try a little role-play or hop in the shower together. Anything that takes you out of your box can help to open your eyes to new realms of sexual pleasure. 

10. Create a Sexy Space

No, this doesn’t mean you need to remodel a room. Creating a sexy space can be as simple as removing anything that can take away from the moment, such as kid’s toys or paperwork. While you’re at it, add a few little touches like flowers or candles to help set the mood. When you’re not distracted by other things, you can focus on the moment and on each other. 

11. Take Care of Your Health

This one might not seem as fun as some of the other items on this list, but taking care of your health is vital for great sex. After all, you can’t be attentive to your partner (or even yourself) if you’re tired or sick. When you take the time to keep yourself healthy, you’re much more likely to enjoy better sex. So, eat a healthy diet, exercise, and be sure to get plenty of sleep. 

12. Have Empathy for One Another

When it comes to sex, empathy tends to go overlooked. The truth is that caring for and understanding your partner’s feelings can lead to better romps in the bedroom. When you and your partner show that you care about each other’s pleasure, you’ll both be more into it. The more into it you are, the better the experiences you’ll share.

Spice Up Your Love Life and Have the Best Sex Ever

While the definition of great sex might vary from person to person, one thing’s for sure: you and your partner can have the best sex you’ve ever had with each other. Take the time to get to know yourself and communicate your needs and desires with one another. Even if you’ve been together for a long time, there’s always something new to learn and do, and the best part is that you can do it together. 

Have You Found Ways To Spice Things Up In The Bedroom? Let Us Know Below In The Comments!

Citations:

[i] Fellizar, Kristine and Gabrielle Moss. (2020, March 30). 10 Reasons to Masturbate with Your Partner. Bustle. https://www.bustle.com/p/10-reasons-to-try-mutual-masturbation-with-your-partner-3499875

[ii] Barrett-Ibarria, Sofia. (2020, October 5). How to Watch Porn with Your Partner for the First Time. Vice. https://www.vice.com/en/article/akzx78/how-to-watch-porn-with-your-partner-spouse-for-the-first-time

[iii] Gould, Wendy R. (2018, February 13). How Often Do the Happiest Couples Have Sex? (It’s Less Often Than You Think. NBC News. https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/how-often-do-happiest-couples-have-sex-it-s-less-ncna828491

[iv] Weiss, Suzanne. (2918, March 8). How to Find Your Voice in Bed, According to Sex Experts. Bustle. https://www.bustle.com/p/how-to-find-your-voice-in-bed-according-to-sex-experts-8440592