Sex Positions 101: The Ultimate Guide to Sex Positions

As I am sure you realize, there is more than one way - or position - in which to have sex! Changing sexual positions is such an important way to explore different sensations and to connect intimately as a couple. We all seem to have our favorites, and this is a good thing, but adding more to our sexual repertoire is a definite must! Not all couples are as flexible or athletic as others so finding positions you both can do and enjoy is paramount to sexual enjoyment. In short, trying the many sexual positions out there is a great way to keep things lively in the bedroom. Sexual position variety is the spice of a sex life! So, if you are looking to explore some new sex positions look no further. This is everything sex positions!

But First....Why Should You Try a New Sex Position?

Are you a missionary person? Do you really enjoy the doggy style position? Do you love it when your lover is on top? We definitely all have our go-to favorite sex positions, the ones that bring us to orgasm more quickly, or just feel so flippin' fantastic that we want to recreate that feeling over and over. If you love something, and it feels good, and you climax, then why would you want to change the position that works for you? Well, there are many reasons, and here are just a few of them:

1. New Penetration Levels

Sex is much like putting a key into a lock and depending on the angle in which that key is inserted, you will achieve different depths and sensations. For penis owners, especially, this is important because they enjoy different parts of their penis stimulated. For some, the entire shaft is what they want to be stimulated, for others, the penis head is the most sensitive. So, if you change up the angle and achieve deeper or shallower penetration then you can find the combination that is just right for you.

2. New Internal Stimulations

As the receiver is the "lock" in the above referenced metaphor, you can imagine how inserting the key in the right manner will unlock all kinds of pleasure for that person! If the receiving partner has a vagina, you should know that their internal vaginal wall is extremely sensitive, and their G-Spot is EXTRA sensitive. Finding the angle that rubs her just the right way is a magical experience. Even though many vulva owners cannot or do not climax through sex alone it can still greatly heighten the experience the both of you.

3. Clitoral Stimulation. 

You may be surprised to know that 85% of ALL vulva owners NEED clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. This means that they cannot orgasm through intercourse alone. The clitoris is the primary source of their pleasure. It has 8,000 nerve endings which is twice as many as the head of a penis in a super small space. When the clitoris is stimulated through touch it engorges with blood (just like the penis does) and then it becomes more sensitive to touch. Continued stimulation will result in pleasurable feelings and, eventually, orgasm. So, if you find a sexual position that rubs the clitoris, this will greatly increase not only their pleasure, but your lover's chance of climax through intercourse! Or simply go down on your partner to get them to the point of explosion!

4. Greater Intimacy

While the doggy style position may be one that feels really great to both of you, it is not exactly the most intimate of positions. Face- to-face positions, like traditional missionary, provide a much more intimate connection as you are able to kiss and look at your partner while you are having sex. Or, side by side spooning positions may offer a very close and "hug like" vibe that many find very intimate.

5. Changes the Sexual Vibe

When we change up our sexual position we also change the vibe of sex. As aforementioned, changing to a more intimate position provides that extra romantic, slow kissing, gazing into his/her face vibe that is very conducive to long and slow sexual sessions. Conversely, a doggy style, or bent over position, where the penetrating partner is grabbing their lover's shoulder and bucking quickly into them is more of a ravaging vibe. Receiving partner on top is exciting for the giver and provides a very intimate look of their partner, while also offering the receiver the chance to be in control, which sets a completely new sexual vibe. Experimenting with different sex positions will help to spice things up!

6. New Types of Sexual Activity

Depending on the type of sexual activity you are having, your position should accommodate it. For example, oral sex positions are going to be greatly different and vary depending on a variety of factors. Similarly, anal sex positioning is very important for the comfort of the receiver. While some of these positions may be similar to standard sex positions, likely they require a bit of tweaking to make it comfortable and appropriate for the activity. Not to mention if you are having a quickie or need to finish in a flash you may want to stick with the positions that are tried and true tested to get you off more quickly. Quickies are quickies for a reason.

7. New Location

I surely hope that the only place you are having sex isn't just the bedroom! Moving the location of your sexual exploits is also a great way to keep things fresh and fun. Whether you are doing it on your couch, the kitchen floor, the car, in a hot tub, or outside in the wilderness, the sexual positions you choose are going to have to adapt to the situation. You surely cannot do every normal position in the backseat of your car, now can you? Of course not. Sexual positions must vary based on location.

8. Greater Comfort

When I speak of comfort I am talking about two different types. First, actual physical comfort. For some couples, certain positions do not work well. They can be physically painful or tiring. The penetration may rub your partner the wrong way or be too exhausting for them to continue. If you are not very flexible, then being bent in ways that stretch your muscles may result in painful cramping, and this is in no way conducive to a fun sexual experience. If you are heavier, many positions may just not work due to size restraints or inability to hold a position long enough to make it work. Finding positions that are comfortable and enjoyable are the best ones to attempt.

The second type of comfort is sexual comfort. Some positions may make one or the other partner uncomfortable due to a lack of sexual self-esteem. While I highly suggest that people try to look at sex as their time to shine no matter what their body image is, I understand that not everyone feels secure with their current bodily state. So, if you have a position that makes you feel unsexy, then this will greatly impact the enjoyment of sex. Some positions make us feel sexy and beautiful.

Standard Positions to Experiment With

Of course, in the myriad of options that sex positions can offer there are always those tried and true favorites that keep on popping up. These are the ones that normally stand the test of time, and most people are familiar with. These positions are ones that can normally be adapted for most couples to accomplish. Here are some of the standards that all couples should be able to adapt to their sex lives:

Missionary- The standard missionary position is when the receiving partner is lying on their back, legs spread and the penetrating partner enters from a top position. Traditionally, the penetrating partner would nearly lie on top of their partner, but this position can be adapted to include them being more up on their knees, too. The idea of traditional missionary is the penetrating partner is in control, it is intimate (face-to-face) and often provides clitoral stimulation for if a vagina owner is involved.

Doggy Style- This is definitely a true favorite because of the many options it has as well as the ease in which it can be done. This position can literally work for any couple, any physical level, and any age. The doggy style position offers a rather deep penetration for the penetrating partner, great internal stimulation for the receiving partner. For extra fun, bring in a doggy style strap.

Take a Seat- Sometimes the receiving partner enjoys being in charge and being on top. So, when they mount their partner while they are sitting, let's say on a kitchen chair, then they are able to keep their feet on the floor and use the back of the chair for leverage. Other chairs, such as big, comfy living room chairs, also can provide the right angle to support a seated position. This is a great one for anyone who may not be as strong or flexible in their legs.

Bedside Bests- When you use the bed to help raise up one or both partners this can be extremely successful. For example, if she were to lie down on her back with her butt to the edge of the bed, then he can enter her while standing on the side of the bed. This position works great for older, less flexible, or heavier (or even pregnant) women or heavier men. It takes the pressure off the joints and provides a nice visual as well as the chance for her to apply clitoral stimulation.

Side by Side- Do not discount the wonderful world of side by side sex. Otherwise known as "spooning", this type of positioning works well for so many couples. Whether you are looking for an intimate and slow build up, lazy morning sex, or whether your partner is pregnant or on the heavier side, a rear entry, side by side position can be a wonderful variation to add to the mix. If you want to further explore these standards, please read my blog, 6 Positions Any Couple Can and Should Do.

Passionate Positions for Couples- It seems important to point out that some positions are more intimate or passionate than others. Many of the ones listed above are definitely more passionate in that they allow for a more direct connection. However, when you are truly connected to your partner all positions can be intimate and passionate. 

Best Sex Positions For Vagina Owners

In a sexual relationship there are two people (standardly, one female and one male). For the purposes of this article I will discuss sex positions that only relate to the standard coupling, as the variations of female-female or male-male possible positions could become endless. In any event, in this pairing it stands to reason that some sexual positions may feel better or more fulfilling or stimulating to one or the other partner at different times. Sure, there are many positions that offer mutual satisfaction, but there are also some that are made to specifically provide what one or the other partner needs or desires. There are many positions that feel amazing for women, and here are just a few as well as why they are a woman's top choice:

Missionary- This position is popular among women for its intimate offerings. Women, more so than men sometimes, enjoy that face-to-face position where they can look at the man they are having sex with. This can fuel her enjoyment even more. Plus, this position also provides clitoral rubbing during intercourse, and just an adjustment of her hips can create a very satisfying, and hopefully orgasm rendering, orgasm for her. The female on top version of missionary provides the same intimate connection, and she is more able to control her grinding motion to give herself even more clitoral attention.

Woman on Top- For many women, being able to control her own pleasure can greatly enhance it, and increase her chance at having an orgasm. As I discuss in greater detail in my second suggestion in my blog, 3 Sex Positions To Give Her An Orgasm, when a woman is allowed to control the depth, angle and speed of the action she is more likely to be able to climax. Not to mention the sexually arousing position of being in control and watching her man enjoy her attentions.

Riding Him While Seated- So many women ignore this position because it has to take place out of the bed or bedroom. You will need your man to take a seat on a chair, preferably a small chair like a kitchen table chair. He sits, you sit on top of him facing toward or away, your preference, and you ride him to your own pleasure. This is a very woman-positive position because it will allow her to take control of her pleasure, while sort of giving him a little show at the same time. It is an easy position for all size and shape couples, and the ability to put your feet on the floor helps greatly with angling, speed and depth of penetration.

Doggy Style- It is a huge myth that women do not like doggy style, we most definitely doggy-do! While the doggy position doesn't offer a more intimate gazing into your lover's eyes, what it does offer is very deep penetration, animalistic and intense action, and the ease of stimulating your clitoris during the action. The doggy position can also make her feel very full, while often aids in orgasm.

Spooning- As already mentioned, women love intimate positions and spooning allows her to feel cradled and safe while having sex. This is a really great position for heavier women (or pregnant women) and allows her man to gently engage with her in a slow and passionate manner. While it may not offer the deepest penetration, he will have access to her entire body, and can caress and stimulate her while they are having sex. Of course, there are all sort of sexual positions that a woman may enjoy, but these seem to be the standards and the go-tos, especially for climax and ultimate enjoyment.

Best Sex Positions For Penis Owners

I once read a joke that said, "What is a man's favorite sex position? Any one where he is having sex." This is sort of true in a way, as most men are able to climax fairly easily during sex and really don't have to worry about extra stimulations like a woman does. However, this does not mean that certain positions are not more enjoyable for men than others. The interesting thing is that the positions that men report as being favorites are standardly so because they offer some level of VISUAL pleasure. Meaning, these are positions where they can see their partner while they are having sex. Here are just a few of the male favorites and why:

Woman on Top (pretty much any way)- As I have just mentioned, men love the visual connection of sex. Men are, generally speaking, visual creatures so being able to see their lover during sex heightens the pleasure. So, woman on top missionary, woman on top sitting, woman on top cowgirl, and woman on top reverse cowgirl are always top choices. It is also nice for a man to enjoy the woman enjoying HIM. Meaning, she is using his body for her pleasure, and this a huge plus for men during sex.

Doggy Style- Are you truly surprised? This position really calls to many men for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it is a very deep and tight position for them, and this is always a huge plus. Secondly, it is a visual that most men really enjoy - the backside. Thirdly, it is an animalistic and aggressive position where he gets to control all the action and pretty much take what he wants. He can really penetrate her hard and fast without fear of hurting her. Plus, there is something about pushing your lover's face into a pillow that can be oddly satisfying during sex.

Bedside/Tabletop- We already know that men love to watch, and these two similar positions really offer a great opportunity to see her in all her glory. When the female lies on her back, toward the edge of the bed or kitchen table, and he enters her while standing, he has a fantastic view of her entire body! He can caress her breasts, touch her stomach, stimulate her clitoris, bend down to suck on her nipples or kiss her. This position connects his visual nature to his possessive nature for a one-two punch of sexual satisfaction.

Reverse Cowgirl- This position ties into his visual nature because in this position he can see his penis going in and out of her while she rocks against him. This is a total "point of view" position that many men really enjoy. Also, she will have her backside presented to him, so if he is at all an "ass man" he will very much love this position.

Anal Position- So, this position obviously goes along with the act of having anal sex, but the position itself with the sex act provides tremendous pleasure for him. A tight position, a taboo position, and the act of anal sex combine for a stimulating experience for him.

Best G-Spot Stimulating Sex Positions

Women have the added benefit of having a G-Spot, which is that super sensitive spot on the upper, vaginal wall, only 2-3 inches inside. When this spot is stimulated through intercourse, it can be extremely pleasurable, and for some women, can cause the most intense orgasm possible. The thing is, stimulating this spot during sex actually takes some manipulation, but can be so worth it if she comes to her climax. Here are just a few of the positions that are great for G-Spot stimulation, and you can read the exhaustive list here, Top Positions For G-Spot Stimulation.

Woman on Back w/ Knees Pushed Back- This is a sort of variation of the missionary position in that she will be on her back, but instead of her legs being spread or wrapped around him, they will need to be held back, toward her sides, in order to provide the tilt necessary for ultimate G-Spot stimulation. Then, if possible, he should enter her and try to get the top of her vaginal wall stimulated with his penis.

Woman on Top, Leaning Back- The goal with G-Spot positions is to stimulate the G-Spot, and this position will definitely let physics take care of that. Here, the man will lie on his back, the woman will squat above him until he is inserted. Then she will transition to her knees like Cowgirl position, but lean BACKWARDS, causing his penis to hit the top of her vaginal wall. This is a position that requires limberness of the female and a slow and steady pace so that the penis is not unsuccessfully bent.

Doggy Style- I know you are automatically thinking that this can't possibly be a good position for G-Spot, but it is. Doggy style can be adapted via changing the angle by having the female lower her head down and lifting her butt up. Then he can enter her from a higher angle and hopefully hit her G-Spot. She can also add in clitoral stimulation which is very important for G-Spot stimulation.

Upraised Butt- Angle is so important for G-Spot, and sometimes using a bit of help via some pillows is the way to go. She lies on her back, and then raises her pelvis up high so that when the male enters her he is stimulating her upper vaginal wall is the key, so using a few pillows will usually do the trick. Plus, she (or he) can offer that clitoral stimulation that is needed.

Best Sex Positions For Anal Sex

Anal sex is becoming more and more popular these days, and is, in fact, more standard than many people realize. There is also an assumption that anal sex is only done via doggy style or rear entry positions, and this, too, is a surprise to some people that anal sex can be performed in many different positions. In fact, some positions can even help with the discomfort that anal sex can cause. Here are some highlights of non-doggy positions:

Double Decker- In this position the woman gets to be on top. In actuality, positions that allow the woman to take control of penetration can be very helpful for those who experience any level of pain of discomfort upon penetration. So, here the man will lie down, and the female stands above him, facing his feet. She will then lower herself onto his penis, taking the time to get him fully into her. The squatting position involved here greatly helps the penetrative angle and provides for a natural relaxation of the anal canal. Once she is fully inserted, she will lie back on his chest and use her feet to rock back and forth.

Intimate Anal- Many people assume that anal sex is not an intimate position, because how can you look at your partner with a traditionally rear-entry position? In this position, the woman lies on her back, and brings her hips up by placing pillows underneath her butt and holding her legs back. Then, he will enter her in a sort of traditional missionary position. This way, he can watch the action - hot - and she can watch his reaction - hotter! This is a win-win position for both.

Tabletop Anal- Who says you can only have anal in the bedroom? Not me! Anal can be done anywhere you can have sex, and the kitchen or dining room table is a great place for it. Having a nice, direct line up between his penis and her anal canal is prepared perfectly when you have her lie on the table. She can just scoot her butt to the edge of the table and he can hold her legs in whatever position is comfortable. Or, if you prefer, she can lie stomach down on the table for a more traditional entry.

The Dirty Rocking Horse- Not for every couple (especially those heavier couples) this position is intimate, woman-on-top, and extremely erotic. For this, the man will sit on his butt in a cross-legged position, then lean back on pillows or his hands. Then, the woman squats above him - facing him - and lowers onto his penis. Once inside, she can sit with her legs around him and then rock back and forth while they kiss and fondle and explore each other. These are just some of the highlights, there are many more. In fact, I explore 6 more in my blog, 10 Great Anal Sex Positions. So, check those out and get off the doggy style kick!

Best Positions For Out of The Bedroom, Non-Standard Sex

It may seem like common sense, but positions that you can do in a bed you cannot always do when you have sex where there is no bed. For example, sex in the kitchen, sex in a car, or sex outside on a deck or in a whirlpool. Sex is something we need to learn to take outside of the bedroom in order to make things more fun and adventurous. So, if you are wondering how, exactly, to maneuver sex in your SUV, read on and you may just get some ideas.

Sex in your Kitchen- I am so surprised that so many couples avoid kitchen sex! I mean, you have a plethora of places so have some hot sex, why not give it a go? Some great positions for your kitchen include the standard female lying down and the male entering her from standing or, a personal favorite, a seated oral sex position! Either of you takes a seat and bellies up to the table to feast on your lover's genitals. Counter tops also can often make for appropriate level entry for sex. Or, just get on down to the seated kitchen chair version of a woman on top, face-to-face straddle! For more ideas on how to have amazing sex in your kitchen or using your table, see my blogs, Sex Positions For The Table and Sexy Things To Try In The Kitchen.

Sex on your Couch- Why is it than in our youth, with our very first partners, we often ended up making out and having sex on our couches? Was it because we were just too hot for each other to move to the bedroom? Or, was it that we didn't have a bed to have sex in? We had sex on our couches because we were so hot for each other that we just wanted to get down to business. The thing about the couch is that you can, for the most part, do almost any position you can do on a bed, except for a standing side-of- the-bed type position because couches are much lower to the ground than a bed. However, you could do an adaptable position and put him on his knees and HER on the edge of the couch. Missionary is, of course, easy to do on the couch regardless of who wants to be on top, as is a cowgirl or reverse cowgirl position. Other favorites include woman on top riding him (forward or backward facing). This is a great one for the couch because most couches do not have the same sink level as a bed. For more specifics on how to use your couch for more than watching Netflix, see my blog, How To DO IT On Your Couch.

Sex in the Car- Come on now, who hasn't had sex in their car? You know you are out and about, go for that goodnight kiss and end up in the backseat, clothes pulled up or down, making your car rock with excitement! If you have not had sex in your car lately, maybe it is time to revisit this activity. While it is true, a car has less space and is not as roomy as, well, a room, it can be possible and exciting to try. One very easy one to achieve for most couples is the woman sitting on top of her man. You will have to be in the backseat or the passenger seat for this, but once situated it is fairly easy to just take a seat on top of your man. Lowering the seat down will also help, and will assist in getting that angle for rocking. Doggy style is also very popular, especially if you have a fairly big backseat. Simply have her get on her hands and knees (or, one knee on the seat, the other on the floor) and then take her from behind. There are not countless car positions, but there are more, so if you are interested, check out 5 Sex Positions For The Car.

Bondage Sex- Sometimes sex can be a bit non-standard not because of where you are having it, but HOW you are having it. Bondage sex is different in that, usually, it involves the tying or restraining of one partner. There are so many ways to have fun with bondage sex, but many times a beginner to this doesn't really know how to begin. What positions may be too restrictive for a new partner? How far bent or tightly tied is too much? Is it OK to restrain both hands and feet? These questions have to be answered by each couple individually. 

Best Sex Positions For The Less Flexible

Listen, not all of us are 18 and bendy any longer, some of us are older and finding out that our muscles just do not want to bend that way any longer. Having arthritis is no joke, especially when you want to go down on your hands and knees and pay for it the next day with excruciating pain. Sometimes it is just necessary to find a pleasing position that you both can do comfortably. So, whether you are just less flexible, a little on the heavy side, pregnant, or just less mobile, some of these positions may fit the bill to keep your sex life rolling along.

Bent Over- This is actually a very good position for most anyone who finds it difficult to get on hands and knees. The female will bend over the side of the couch, bed, table, countertop, whatever, and the male will enter from behind. There is no balancing, no weight distribution, the male has easy hip gyrations and the female is supported by whatever she is leaning on. Enjoyable and so easy to do.

Doggy or Flat Doggy- Most of the time doing doggy style on a bed is OK even for those women who may have arthritic knees. However, to increase comfort, place pillows underneath her abdomen to help relieve the tension on the joints. Then, proceed in a standard doggy entry. This position works especially well for larger couples, or for pregnant women. If you find it easier, she can lay flat on her stomach, with pillows propping up her pelvis, and he can enter from behind, laying atop her.

Man Seated- Many couples overlook this gem of a position because women assume they are not strong enough to bounce up and down on their lover. To the contrary, because you are on both feet (securely on the ground) and have your lover's lap to sit one and the back of the chair (or his neck) to grasp for stability, this position can be delightful and easy to do! Find him a kitchen chair with no sides or a high ottoman and have him sit. Then she will lower down onto his penis, facing toward or away depending on logistics and preference, and proceed to bounce and gyrate atop him.

Spooning- Why do so many couples hate spooning? Spooning can be incredibly intimate and very easy for all couples to do, it just may take a little bit of positioning. Not all couples can enter from behind straight on, so it may mean the woman will have to back into her man without being flat against him. The trick is to get inserted in any way you can, and THEN get into the spooning position.

So, there you go! All kinds of discussion on sexual positions. Did you find some new ones you may want to try? Do you think you'll have sex in the car or on the couch? Are you curious about the newest sex positions out there? There are always new ones to try, and making a commitment to jump in and experiment is a good idea. It doesn't matter how experimental you get, or how many you try, the idea is just to get away from the missionary, try something new, and experiment with your pleasure. Now, pick one of these positions and get to bed.

What's Your Favorite Sex Position? Let Us Know In The Comments!