Pegging 101: A Guide To Pegging Anal Sex For Beginner's

BDSM and anal exploration are no longer niche — everyone’s looking for ways to spice things up in the bedroom. And pegging? It’s officially having a moment.

What used to be whispered about in secret has gone mainstream — and for good reason. Pegging flips bedroom dynamics in the sexiest way possible, giving both partners a chance to explore trust, power, and totally new sensations.

If you’re curious but not sure where to start, don’t worry — we’ve got you. This guide breaks down everything you need to know to make your first pegging session safe, comfortable, and mind-blowingly good.

What Exactly is Pegging?

In simple terms, pegging is when a woman wears a strap-on dildo to penetrate her male partner anally.

That said, pegging isn’t limited to heterosexual couples — anyone can enjoy it. What matters most is curiosity, consent, and comfort.

A strap-on dildo is a sex toy that comes in two pieces: an insertable dildo and a harness. The harness is worn around the waist like a pair of panties, and the dildo fits inside the harness. Once secured, it sits in the same position on the wearer’s body as a penis would on a man.

This setup allows the penetrating partner to move naturally and stay in control — while giving their partner a whole new kind of stimulation.

Why do people love it? Because anal play, especially prostate stimulation, can feel incredible. The prostate is packed with sensitive nerve endings and, when massaged just right, can lead to deep, toe-curling orgasms unlike anything else.

Give Him a Back-Arching Orgasm!

Simply put, many men (and women) have sensitive butts and enjoy backdoor play. For men, the prostate—a walnut-sized gland located just below the bladder—is incredibly receptive to pleasure. When it’s stimulated, it can create intense, full-body orgasms that feel completely different from anything else.

Pegging your man can lead to back-arching, toe-curling, can't-catch-your-breath kind of pleasure that'll leave him hooked.

TooTimid Article: How To Find & Stimulate The Prostate - Click Here!

 

Now that you know what pegging means and why it can be a good way to please your man, it's time to learn how to peg your partner in a way that is enjoyable and fun for both of you.

First-Time Pegger? Here's What You Need To Know:

Before anyone reaches for lube or toys, talk about it. Open communication is what turns something new into something amazing.

Feeling comfortable enough with your partner to share sexual fantasies, curiosities, and ideas is a huge part of a healthy relationship. These conversations don’t just make the sex better — they build trust, deepen connection, and help you both feel more confident exploring together.

You don’t need to make it a big, serious talk. Bring it up casually or playfully:

“I read about pegging and it actually sounds really hot — would you ever try it?”

If your partner’s unsure, suggest watching a how-to video or reading up together. Curiosity is sexy — and learning as a team builds comfort and closeness.

 

5 Easy Ways to Bring Up Pegging (Without Making It Awkward)

1. “I’ve been thinking about ways we could spice things up a bit. Have you ever heard of pegging? I read about it recently and it actually sounds kind of hot.”
   
   

2. “You know how we’re both pretty open about trying new things? I came across something called pegging—it’s supposed to feel amazing for guys. What do you think about that?”

3. “So, random question… if I told you I wanted to be the one in charge for a night—like really in charge—would you be into that?”
   
   
4. "I love that we can talk about anything. I was reading this article about pegging and it got me curious. No pressure, but I’d love to hear your thoughts.”
   
   
5. “We’ve tried a lot together, but there’s one thing we haven’t. Apparently, pegging can lead to mind-blowing orgasms for guys. Would you ever want to explore that?”

Lube Is Your Best Friend, Always

Here’s the truth — when it comes to anal play, lube isn’t just helpful, it’s non-negotiable. The anus doesn’t self-lubricate, so a good lube keeps everything smooth, comfy, and way more pleasurable.

Water-based lubes is the easiest to work with — it’s safe for all toys and simple to clean up.
Silicone-based lubes lasts longer and feels extra slick, but skip it if your toy is also silicone (they don’t mix well).

Want to go the extra mile for comfort? Try a specialized anal lubricant. Some are infused with soothing ingredients like Bisabolol (a natural anti-inflammatory from chamomile) to calm sensitive skin, or a touch of lidocaine to gently numb and relax the area for easier penetration.

And if you’re super focused on staying clean, a quick rinse with an anal douche beforehand can help you feel extra fresh and confident.

The rule of thumb: More lube = more pleasure, less friction, and fewer worries. Trust us — your booty will thank you.

Start Small: Fingers, Plugs, & Training Toys

If it’s your first time, don’t dive straight into a strap-on. Start slow with a finger, a slim anal plug, or a beginner’s training set.

This helps the receiving partner’s muscles relax and get used to the sensation. Once that starts feeling good, you can size up gradually until you’re ready for penetration.

Remember: if it hurts, stop. Pegging should feel new and intense, maybe uncomfortable - but not painful.

Pro Tip: Try a little rimming (oral stimulation around the anus) before you bring in toys. It’s a hot, low-pressure way to help your partner relax and get used to your touch back there — especially if this is your first time exploring pegging together.

Talk Dirty & Play Filthy 

Dirty talk is one of the easiest—and hottest—ways to turn up the heat during pegging. It’s not just about what you say, but how you say it. A few breathy words, a low whisper, or a playful tease can make the whole experience even more electric.

Describe what you want to do to them, how good they feel, and how much you love pegging them. Mix it up with phrases that show confidence and control, or ones that encourage and praise your partner—it’s all about the energy between you.

Want to make it even hotter? Combine your words with other sensations: reach around and stroke your partner while you thrust, experiment with light BDSM, or change up your strokes and rhythm to keep them on edge. A slow grind paired with a filthy whisper in their ear? That’s the kind of combo that’ll have them losing their mind.

Finding The Perfect Dildo

Finding the perfect pegging dildo can make or break your first experience—so let’s make sure you pick a winner.

When it comes to size and style:

• Beginners: Look for something around 1"–1.25" in diameter and 5"–6" in length. It’s just enough to feel filling without being overwhelming, helping you (and your partner) ease into the experience comfortably.

• Experienced players: Once you’ve gotten the hang of things, try something thicker or longer, or explore textured options—like ridges, bulbs, or gentle curves—for added stimulation and pressure against the prostate.

For material, silicone is your best friend—it’s smooth, body-safe, non-porous, and super easy to clean.
Avoid: Jelly rubber, PVC, or toys with phthalates. These are porous materials that can trap bacteria even after washing.

The goal is comfort and connection—so take your time, experiment, and enjoy the ride.

Mind-Blowing Orgasms, Guaranteed

The secret to great pegging is mutual pleasure. Communicate, go slow, and check in often.

Receivers: stimulate yourself during penetration — a vibrator or hand on the genitals can take things over the edge.
Givers: try a double-ended dildo or grind against the harness for your own dose of pleasure.

Pegging isn’t just physical — it’s a trust exercise that builds intimacy, body awareness, and connection.

3 Techniques That'll Blow Them Away

So, you’ve got the basics down and want to take things up a notch. These advanced moves will turn your pegging sessions from amazing to unforgettable.

1. Get Handsy
Don’t let the strap-on do all the work. Use one hand to stroke your partner’s cock while you thrust for an extra layer of stimulation and connection.

2. Add a Cock Ring
Experiment with pace, angle, and pressure to find what feels best. Add a vibrating cock ring or a masturbation sleeve to amplify pleasure and intensity.

3. Try a Prostate Massager
The prostate sits about 2–3 inches inside, toward the belly button. Use a “come hither” motion or a prostate toy to explore gentle pressure or pulsing strokes. Once you hit the sweet spot, expect deep, body-shaking pleasure.

Pro Tip: Even when you’re exploring advanced techniques, safety, consent, and communication are everything. Use plenty of lube, go slow, and check in often. With trust and patience, pegging can become one of your most electrifying shared experiences.

The Psychological Dynamics of Pegging

Pegging isn’t just physical—it’s psychological, reshaping how couples experience power, trust, and pleasure. It’s not only about kink, but about exploring vulnerability, curiosity, and breaking down old ideas about gender and control.

For men, pegging can be both exciting and humbling. It flips the traditional sexual script, placing them in the receptive role—something that can feel both intense and liberating. Allowing a partner to take control in this way requires trust and emotional openness, which can deepen intimacy and connection. For some, the act becomes a journey of self-acceptance and body awareness, showing that pleasure has no gender or orientation—it’s simply human.

For women, pegging often brings a rush of confidence and empowerment. Taking the lead, guiding their partner’s pleasure, and watching them lose control under their touch can feel intoxicating. It’s a chance to explore dominance, experiment with control, and experience what it’s like to “drive” in bed—literally and figuratively.

Together, this role reversal can shift a relationship’s energy in powerful ways. It encourages open communication, mutual trust, and a deeper kind of erotic play rooted in equality and exploration.

At its core, pegging is more than just penetration—it’s shared curiosity and courage. It gives both partners the freedom to step outside traditional roles, explore new sensations, and discover intimacy in unexpected ways.

Breaking Anal Play Taboos

Anal play is for everyone. Pegging helps couples ditch outdated stigma and see the anus as just another pleasure zone.

It’s about curiosity, comfort, and communication — not shame. When you drop the judgment, what’s left is connection, confidence, and some seriously intense orgasms.

4 Hot Positions For A Better Peg

Once you get comfortable with pegging, there are many different positions you can try to enhance the experience. Some allow for deeper penetration, some are great for intimacy, and others provide amazing prostate stimulation. Here are a few pegging positions to explore:

Pegging Position #1. Doggy Style (Best For Deep Penetration):

 

Pegging Position #2. Missionary (Best For Eye Contact & Intimacy):

Pegging Position #3. Cowgirl/Cowboy (Best For More Control - Depth, Speed, & Angle):

Pegging Position #4. Spooning (Best For Slow, Sensual Pegging): 

Both partners lie on their sides, the receiver in front.

Positions that allow the dildo to curve slightly towards the belly tend to be best for prostate stimulation. Slow, firm pressure and a rocking motion rather than rapid thrusting usually work best.

If you and your partner have a significant height difference, some positions like doggy style may need to be modified for comfort. Using furniture like a bed or couch for support can help. Keep pillows close! Use them under the knees, hips, or stomach to adjust angles.

The key is to communicate and experiment until you find what works best for your body. Encourage the receiver to give feedback on what feels good. And remember that many people require some form of penile stimulation as well to reach orgasm from pegging. Adding a hand job or a vibrating cock ring into the mix can take things to the next level.

Conclusion: Power, Pleasure & Partnership

Pegging isn’t just a sexual act — it’s a shared adventure in trust, vulnerability, and discovery.

It’s about communication, curiosity, and the courage to say, “Let’s try something new.”

With the right prep, lube, and mindset, pegging can turn into one of the most exciting, bonding experiences you’ll ever share.

So go slow, stay safe, and get ready to discover a whole new way to connect — one thrust at a time.

To Peg Or Not To Peg?

Pegging Anal Sex FAQ's answered

What is pegging?

Pegging is a sexual practice where a person (typically a woman) uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate their partner (typically a man) anally. It can be a pleasurable and intimate experience for both partners.

Is pegging safe?

Yes, pegging can be safe when done correctly. It's important to use plenty of lubrication, go slowly, and communicate openly with your partner. Using a condom on the strap-on can also enhance safety and hygiene.

How can I talk to my partner about wanting to try pegging?

Approach the conversation with openness and without pressure. Explain why you're interested and how you think it could benefit your relationship. Listen to your partner's feelings and concerns, and make sure both of you are comfortable with the idea. P.S. Check out our conversation starters above!

What kind of lube should be used for pegging?

Water-based or silicone-based lubricants are ideal for pegging. Silicone-based lube lasts longer and can be less sticky, but it should not be used with silicone toys. Always use plenty of lube to reduce friction and increase comfort.

What type of strap-on should we start with?

For beginners, a harness that fits comfortably and securely is crucial. Start with a smaller, slim dildo to ease into the experience. As you become more comfortable, you can explore different sizes and shapes.

Does pegging hurt?

Pegging should not hurt if done correctly. It's important to go slow, use plenty of lubrication, and listen to your body. Any pain is a signal to stop and adjust. Discomfort is normal at first, but it should not be painful.

Can pegging be pleasurable for the person being penetrated?

Yes, pegging can be highly pleasurable for the person being penetrated. The anus has many nerve endings, and the prostate (in men) can be stimulated, which can lead to intense orgasms.

How do we prepare for pegging?

Preparation includes both physical and mental aspects. Physically, cleaning the anal area is important, and this can be done with a shower or enema if desired. Mentally, both partners should be relaxed, comfortable, and ready to communicate throughout the experience.

Can pegging affect our relationship dynamics?

Pegging can bring couples closer by enhancing trust and communication. It can be an empowering experience and add variety to your sexual relationship. However, it's important to ensure both partners feel comfortable and respected throughout the process.

References:

Graveris, D. (2024, January 21). Pegging Facts & Statistics [2024]: How Common Is Pegging? SexualAlpha. Retrieved May 22, 2024, from https://sexualalpha.com/how-common-is-pegging/

Iovine, A. (2022, December 19). Pegging named 2023's fetish of the year. Mashable. Retrieved May 22, 2024, from https://mashable.com/article/pegging-fetish-of-the-year

NSSHB (n.d.). National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior. Indiana University Bloomington. Retrieved May 22, 2024, from https://nationalsexstudy.indiana.edu/

Roberts, H., Clark, A., Sherman, C., Heitzeg, M., & Hicks, B. (2021, August 6). Age, sex, and other demographic trends in sexual behavior in the United States: Initial findings of the sexual behaviors, internet use, and psychological adjustment survey. PLOS ONE. Retrieved May 22, 2024, from https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0255371