How to Introduce Bondage Without Overwhelming Your Partner

If you're reading this blog, then chances are that your interest has been peaked by the idea of some type of bondage. Maybe the idea of restraining your partner or spanking them with a paddle gets you going. Or, you've been craving having your partner do those things to you. Maybe you've been pulled towards BDSM porn lately, but the problem is that you're nervous about bringing it up to your partner.

And that makes sense, bringing up sexual desires to our partners can be intimidating - but it doesn't have to be. With proper communication and boundaries, introducing bondage in your relationship can be exciting and it can add a new level of trust and bonding to your relationship! Read on to learn more.

First Off, What Actually Is Bondage?

If you're new to these sexual desires, the word bondage might be intimidating. But in reality, bondage does not only represent one thing. It is a concept that encompasses many different things. Bondage is one element falling under the BDSM category.

B – stands for Bondage
D – stands for Discipline
S – stands for Sadism
M – stands for Masochism

The elements when put all together basically mean: being restrained, dominated and made to submit to your partner’s demands (and being disciplined when you don't) and deriving sexual pleasure from the infliction of differing levels of pain.

I know that probably sounds a little intense, so the most important thing to remember about bondage play is that the level of intensity is completely up to you and your partner! Any of these elements may be removed, so just take it one step at a time and do what you feel comfortable with. The most important thing in any sexual play is pleasure – do what feels good for you and your lover!

6 Tips For Introducing Bondage In The Bedroom

Now let's get to the information you're really here for, learning exactly how to go about bringing up bondage to your partner and trying it for the first time together. Below are 6 tips that will help you navigate this.

1. SHOW THEM WHAT YOU LIKE

Instead of coming right out with "Honey, I want you to tie me to the bed", you can start off by dropping subtle hints. Offer watching an erotic film that involves some bondage play. This is a great way to start a comfortable conversation about bondage.

While you're watching, you can suggest that you try something similar and take it from there! Or simply say something like "this is really sexy, what do you think?" This will spark a conversation and your partner will get a clearer sense of what you are thinking of instead of overthinking about what exactly you want. 

2. TALK ABOUT IT

Following up with that first tip, the next thing to do is to have a respectful, judgment-free conversation about your desires with one another. Maybe grab a few drinks, sit down and seriously just talk this out. This doesn't have to be super serious to the point where it's not a sexy conversation, but you do need to communicate to get more of an idea of what your partner would be open to trying.

At this point, you've already brought up the idea and you're talking about it - so, a way to make this conversation more erotic is to pull up some porn. Of course, make sure your partner is cool with this if you've never watched porn together. But, watching porn together will really open the doors up to both of your desires and will also deepen your connection.

3. CREATE A SAFE ENVIRONMENT

Communication between you and your partner is always important, but with bondage it can help ease some of the nerves even more. Before, during, and after you always need to be communicating.

One of the most important parts of having a safe environment is, you guessed it, having a safe word! This is an absolute must when it comes to any type of bondage. As soon as either of you says the word, everything stops - immediately. This will help to ease your partner's mind if they are still a little nervous going into it.

4. KEEP AN OPEN-MIND

You don't have to go into your first bondage experience knowing exactly what you do and don't like. You also don't have to declare your submissiveness or dominance yet, you may have to try different things to find what you like best.

It's important to keep an open-mind when experiencing bondage for the first time. You never know what you'll like or what you might hate, the same goes for your partner. And, please, don't be influenced by gender stereotypes. Your gender doesn't decide what you like.

5. DON'T DIVE IN HEAD FIRST

What I mean by this is that you don't need to be stacked with leather whips, chains and gags on your first time. Take it slow and experiment with things you have first. If you want to try restraining your partner, try using a scarf or tie you have and tying them to a bedpost.

Trust me when I say, you don't need a "Red Room" to have a good time. If you decide this is the life for you, then you can invest in some kinky tools. Handcuffs, bed restraints, whips/paddles, blindfolds, and ball gags are all things that can totally elevate your experience. 

6. AFTERCARE IS ESSENTIAL

Aftercare, in the simplest definition, is the time after sex where the partners often cuddle, talk and return to reality. Aftercare is important in any scenario, not just bondage. However, it can be extremely important for new bondage experimenters.

Use this period to communicate what you liked and disliked during the session. If things got particularly rough, use this time to make your partner feel loved and safe. You never want either of you to feel scared or uneasy. Make sure you both feel comfortable and safe. 

Are You Interested In Bondage? Let Us Know With An Anonymous Comment Below!